What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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the love boat

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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Poop swing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops