A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Snarf Nuggets

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops