Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

If you're reading this, you can read.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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