A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a horse nibbled a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops