- Anti Joke

Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Psychics.

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

In the land of cheerios, there are three social classes. The bottom class consists of the regular cheerios, the middle class consists of the honey nut cheerios, and the top class consists of the frosted cheerios. One day, Mr. Cheerio was disappointed with his life in the bottom social class. He thought to himself, "Gosh, I bet life would be much better if I were a honey nut cheerio!" So he goes to the mighty cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must i do for thee that thou might make me a honey nut cheerio?" The great cheerio king then says to him "I shall make thee a honey nut cheerio if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of vegetables!". Mr. Cheerio accepts the quest and travels for many months and years through all of the neighboring lands and finally collects the vegetables. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the bargain my making him a honey nut cheerio. Mr. Cheerio is very happy with his new life. Due to his higher rank in society, he is able to find a wonderful job, marry a wonderful woman and have a few wonderful kids. One day, Mr. Cheerio thinks to himself, "I wonder what my life would be like if my family and I were all frosted cheerios. I could provide more for my family, and we would have a much fancier way of life!". He returns to the cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must I do for thee that thou might make my family and I frosted cheerios?". The king then states "I will make thee frosted cheerios if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of fruits." Mr. Cheerio accepts this new quest. He departs from his family and travels for many months and years through all the neighboring lands until he finds all the fruits he needs. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the deal by making Mr. Cheerio's family frosted cheerios. The life of the frosted cheerios is incredible. It is everything that the Cheerio family could have ever wanted. There are new opportunities around every corner. One day, a friend of Mr. Cheerio invites him to a dinner party that all of the frosted cheerios will be attending. Mr. Cheerio and his wife are talking to their friends at the party, when Mrs. Cheerio says to Mr. Cheerio, "Hey, honey, I'm getting a little thirsty. Could you go get me some punch?". Mr. Cheerio finds a very long line and stands in it. Once he gets to the front, however, he discovers that it is the line for steak, not punch. He repeats this process with half a dozen other lines, but he cannot find the line for punch. He returns to his wife and says, "Honey, there's something wrong with this joke. There's no punch line."

Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

Enough with the "whats worse than ... "jokes! They are getting old and have a millon different possible answers. I am aware that this is not a joke but thumbs up if you aggree with.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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