What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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