Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Rigo your a stupid ass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Loading...

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

thumb_up thumb_down

A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

thumb_up thumb_down

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

thumb_up thumb_down

a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops