What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

vaginas

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

Do you like your life? No. OK.

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

No.

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...