A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Your mama's so fat.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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http://richardfigures.com/

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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religion.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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