An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man sat on a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +10

justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops