Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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if a chcken lays an eggg what happens? a baby bird comes out

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops