How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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Two english guys meet at work

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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