A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Harry Styles

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down -6

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops