How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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