Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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