what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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Gay Rights

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Take off your shoes.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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