Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops