A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

Jesus was a good guy

How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

Two Irish men walks out of a bar

What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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