Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops