A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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knock, knock. come in.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops