Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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