- Anti Joke

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.