What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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