Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Melbourne Football Club.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops