How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops