Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock! Ding dong.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops