Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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knock knock piss off

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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