I drive a 'rarri

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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i have to pee out my ass.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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25

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Dogs

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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