Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Sophie Cameron is Gay

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How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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