How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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A white guy, a hispanic guy, and asian, a black guy, a philipiean guy, and a wait what am i doing?

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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7

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Penis

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Women.

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops