Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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