why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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The Holocaust.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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