R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=148&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=L4yN-90F2S2nXM:&imgrefurl=http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/2012/05/justin-bieber-nails.html&docid=yYdBShdYVODKdM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YFyj_mKUypY/T6VP6iGQeCI/AAAAAAAAJjI/y6cpVYjn9Gs/s1600/harry.PNG&w=573&h=413&ei=ZY7HT_XqHo2c8QStiY2IDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=724&vpy=140&dur=435&hovh=191&hovw=265&tx=75&ty=135&sig=110416686013590693091&page=12&tbnh=148&tbnw=229&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:148,i:142

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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captcha: all yer base

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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