Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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women outside of the kitchen

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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buttcrack thumbs up

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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