How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Thumbs this down

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You just won the game...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Woman's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops