Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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where are you?

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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I have no ideas.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops