What was everyone doing in the library? Reading

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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Good boy

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

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Hey, Max!!

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops