Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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Wanna hear a joke? My penis size.

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What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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This is not a good joke.

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Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

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Why Sam Vitale gay? Because he loves men!

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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