what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops