Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Canada's army

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

8

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

toast points

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops