What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

robin, get in the car.

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

Potato

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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