GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Why was Timmy sad?

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Is this a chair?

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops