Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Ancient Greeks rights

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Looks through the peephole.

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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A friend asks his buddy, "Hey, what's your favorite color?" Buddy slowly turns his head and stares intensely at the only black person in the room and says," "White." Buddy has never been called racist.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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