How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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planking.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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2

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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