What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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25

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Everybody will die

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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