Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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