How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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