Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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