What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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