Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

a. why? b. because I wanted

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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