What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

bite me

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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