What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

How you know when dislextic

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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