What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops