Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Bob Saget that is all

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops