while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops