How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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