Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between you and a polar bear? I don't hate the polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops